When it comes to success in online dating, it all comes down to three things: your profile, your photos, and your strategy. With online dating apps split between discovery apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, and eHarmony knowing how to write the best dating profile for the dating app you are can be confusing.

• Whether you’re using a top online dating site like eHarmony, a smaller niche dating site, or one of the best dating apps of the year—writing the perfect dating profile is not as easy as it sounds. The fact that you’re here with us, though, probably means we don’t need to tell you that one.
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In today’s blog, we are going to break down the basics of how to write a profile that attracts the people you want to meet.

How to Write a Profile for Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge

Discovery, or Swipe, apps changed the way people date when Tinder first came onto the market in 2012. Where you used to have to write a long profile, now you were limited to no more than 500 characters.

Also, instead of searching through profiles, you swiped through photos, only stopping to read the ones that grabbed your attention. The result is a type of dating that feels more like a video game.

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This makes spending time on these apps easier, but it can make finding a connection on apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge that much harder.

What Are People Doing Wrong?

With only 500 characters on Tinder, 350 on Bumble, and only 150 per answer on Hinge, people feel like their only chance is to stand out with a profile so clever that the reader would want to not only swipe right but share it on their Instagram account.

This is the wrong way to go.

When you try to be clever or funny, it often just sounds forced and disingenuous. You don’t need to entertain the masses to get your profile swiped on. You just need to connect with people. You are never going to get a good connection with a sales pitch, and that’s what half the people on these apps are doing.

Sadly, the other half are just listing adjectives like features on a used car… because there’s nothing people want to read more than a list.

How do I write my Tinder or Bumble profile?

We will have a more in-depth post coming out on this soon, but the basics are pretty easy.

• Forget the sales pitch
  • You can’t convince people to like you if there’s no connection. Just be yourself. It is the only way you will connect with the right people.
• Leave the list behind
  • Instead of filling space with a ton of useless adjectives, pick three things that matter to you. Write a full sentence for each one of them, giving context and color. That way you aren’t just saying you love concerts, you are creating a conversation starter by telling them about the best show you’ve ever been to or your dream concert. This context is what will grab people. If they liked your photos enough that they wanted to read your profile, this is the kind of stuff that will make them want to get to know you. Lists just don’t do that for you.
• Tell a story
  • If the previous suggestion doesn’t grab you, pick one thing, a story from your life that tells who you are. That’s the only thing you have to write about. When people read that, they’ll get a sense of who you are, and that will help them determine if they would actually want to spend time with you.
• Use the space they give you
  • I’m constantly amazed at how many people use less than 100 characters of their allotted space on their profiles. The number of characters between the number 3 and the start of this sentence is already 143. When you leave a profile blank, or you write the least amount that you think you can get away with, you show people that you don’t really care about how you present yourself and you are mainly focused on photos. Even if that was true, you’ll still have a much better rate of success if you put in that little bit of extra effort.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help
  • Whether you need an objective eye on your photos or you need help writing your Tinder/ Bumble profile, we’ve got you covered. We’ve created a suite of services specifically to help you improve your success with Tinder and Bumble. Check them out HERE.

How Do I Write My Hinge Profile?

Hinge is actually our favorite discovery dating app. While not as large as Tinder or Bumble, It has a design that is far more conducive to starting conversations and connecting than any of its discovery competitors. Here are two big tips that everyone needs to make sure they follow when they write their Hinge profile.

• Choose the right questions
  • When people call me for help with their Hinge profile, one of the first problems I notice is that they usually choose questions because they think other people want to read the answers, not because they had any interest in answering them. If you don’t pick questions that interest you, your answers are going to suck! It only takes five minutes to read through all of the questions they give you to choose from. If you don’t have an answer in your head for that question, pick a different one. If you have to sit and ponder what your answer should be to a question, you shouldn’t be trying to answer that profile question.
• Give full answers
  • There is no dating app where people are more guilty of one-word answers than on Hinge. You have 150 characters. It’s not a lot. It’s two letters more than I wrote in the last two sentences. When you answer a question, make sure you take the time to give your answer context. Instead of just saying you can’t live without Italian food, tell people that one special dish that always makes a bad day better for you.
• Call in the experts
  • If you get stuck on your Hinge profile, we’ve created a special service just for you. With this service, you can hop on the phone with one of our dating profile writers and have your new profile in as little as 20 minutes! Check it out HERE.

How to Write a Profile for Match, Pof, Zoosk, Harmony, or Okcupid

Traditional dating apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, eHarmony, and OKC are where most of the real relationship-seekers are when it comes to online dating. Most of these dating apps require a paid membership, and they all require a much longer profile than you’ll see on Discovery apps.

Another big thing to realize about these dating apps is that they draw a more mature crowd than discovery apps. I would not generally recommend any of these apps (other than OKC) to anyone under 32. With all of that in mind, here are some tips to help you write your dating profile:

• Show don’t tell
  • Most people are a recipe: I’m funny, outgoing, loyal, kind, athletic. People don’t want to eat the recipe, they want to eat the cake. Never list things about you. Take the list of things that you want to say, cut it in half, and then make sure that each of those things has a comment added to it that brings it to life and gives it context. That’s what will take you from flour, eggs, sugar, and cocoa to a moist, delicious chocolate cake.
• Watch your “I”s
  • You can make the world’s most interesting person sound like the world’s most boring person if every sentence about yourself starts with the word “I.” Make sure to use transitional phrasing in your sentences and it will do a much better job of creating a connection with prospective matches.
• Remember your audience
  • Most people think they need to write a profile that attracts the most people. That’s just wrong. Your profile should actually repel around 99% of the people who see it. The only people who matter are the ones with whom you share actual compatibility. Don’t worry about attracting everyone else.
• Don’t worry about funny, worry about you
  • People always ask me to make their profile funnier or more clever, but that’s not always the best plan. Funny and clever is great if you have a funny story to share or something that is naturally clever. Trying to force it into the profile just makes you sound like a salesman. If you really want to add humor, the best way is through an anecdote. Other than that, just focus on being yourself.
• Don’t ask for things that are normal parts of healthy relationships
  • You’ll often see people say they want to meet someone honest and loyal, or someone who doesn’t play games and is looking for a monogamous relationship. While all of these things sound reasonable, they are also things that you shouldn’t have to ask for. When you do ask, it makes it sound like you are still dealing with issues from past relationships where you were lied to or cheated on.
• Don’t write too little, or too much
  • The worst thing you can do in a traditional profile is to write the same kind of profile that you would for a discovery dating app. You have space. Use it! A good profile is going to be at least 150 words long. However, if it goes over 300 words, fewer people are going to be willing to read it.
• Give me a call
  • If you’ve read all these tips and still feel confused, or like you would rather have a professional take care of it for you, give e a call at 888-447-7634. We can talk about your concerns and come up with a plan to make sure you have a great dating profile. You can also check out all of our dating profile writing services HERE.

Bonus Tip For OKCupid and eHarmony Profiles

Unlike the other dating profiles, eHarmony and OKCupid break their profiles up into a series of questions.

It is really important that you answer EVERY question. This is not the time or place to get lazy. Take the time to answer them all, and make sure that you give full answers. One word answers are just going to make it look like you don’t really care about meeting someone.

Get Out There and Put Your Best Foot Forward with a Dating Profile That Stands Out From The Crowd

That’s it for today. These are some of the core ideas behind how to write a great dating profile. If you’ve made it this far, but you are stuck, don’t worry. I’ve been helping singles with their dating profiles for the last sixteen years. I’m here for you.

Just give me a call at 888-447-7634, or send me a message HERE.

If you are looking for love online, a great profile is key. Of course you need compelling photos, but those who are looking for a real relationship will look beyond a pretty face to find out what you are about. It would be nice if everyone could give you the benefit of the doubt and magically see what a fascinating, unique, loving person you are, but that's not how online dating works.

A generic profile that doesn't say much or says the wrong things will be overlooked by the very people you truly hope to connect with. There are lots of quality singles online. If you hope to meet one of them, speak to them, not the masses!

Imagine that your ideal partner is going to read your profile. How will he or she recognize you as their perfect match?

Follow these crucial tips to make sure you are attracting the right people online!

1. Give a snapshot of who you are, how you live your life and the relationship you are seeking.

Your profile should start out by describing your most prominent and positive character traits. Are you funny? Outgoing? Creative? Loyal? Affectionate? Intellectually curious? Choose 3 or 4 adjectives that best describe your personality. If you're at a loss, ask your friends for help describing you. How would they describe you to someone they were setting you up with?

Be sure to also include what you care about. Don't use the crutch of describing your job and moving on. It's not a resume, and your job should get little focus. If you love your job, say so. But more importantly, what are you passionate about?Do you care most about making music? Helping others? Winning a pro surfing competition or rescuing stray dogs? If you care about learning new languages and taking trips to test your skills, say so! The right people are going to think that's awesome.

Lastly, be honest about what you are seeking. Don't hedge and downplay you desire to be in a committed relationship, or your desire for the opposite! Remember - you want to attract the people who are looking for what you are looking for. If you want a relationship, say so!

2. Who you want to meet - the character, not the characteristics.

I can't emphasize this enough. Please be sure to say who you want to meet in your profile, without sounding overly specific as to their characteristics. Avoid listing your ideal partner's hobbies, height, body type, education and interests.

When you focus on character, you are being specific as to your values, which will resonate with like-minded people. If you focus on characteristics you risk sounding superficial, rigid, or overly picky. These are not attractive qualities!

For example, rather than specifying the characteristic of 'having a fit body,' you should state the character trait of 'active' or 'valuing health and fitness.' The first example is about an outcome (fit body), the latter is about a way of life (being active and taking care of yourself). The former excludes people who don't want someone who is overly concerned with appearances (even if they themselves are fit), and the latter includes those fit people who care about more than the superficial.

Remember - you have already started your profile by saying who you are and what you're into - if someone is still reading, they're already intrigued by you and what you care about. If you really want to meet someone who loves sailing because sailing is your passion, that person who also loves sailing is already hooked as soon as they read that sailing is your passion! If they hate sailing, hate the water and hate sailors, they're already gone.

When you are writing about who you are and how your live your life, be sure to show the reader what that looks like in action. You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific.

For example, many people say in their profiles they like to travel. 'Travel' could mean anything from a trip to Disneyworld to hiking the Appalachian Trail to a Mediterranean cruise to a luxury safari in Kenya. Don't assume that the reader is going to know which of these you'd be into!

Talk about your favorite travel destinations, your dream vacation or the best trip you ever took - the person who loves your kind of travel - or is intrigued by it - will take note!

Rather than saying 'I love to have fun' say 'I love having fun - my ideal weekend includes bowling, a Netflix binge and a pancake brunch.' That's not everyone's idea of fun, but if it's yours - own it!

Write About Me In My Dating Site Profiles

If one of your defining values is loyalty, show what that looks like in your life. When you are in love, are you your partner's biggest cheerleader? Have you stood by your beloved losing baseball team? Or your childhood best friends? Look to your life for actual examples!

Write About Me On Dating Site

The added bonus of specificity is it gives people who want to reach out to you a 'hook' to mention in a message to you.

4. Leave out the negative and the snarky.

It amazes me how many people use their precious profile real estate to talk about what they don't want or about their cynicism, bitterness or pessimism.

Not only do you come across as negative, but you also give the impression that you are the very thing you claim not to want. If you say 'drama queens need not apply' I will assume that you have tons of relationship drama, which means you don't have the self-awareness to see how much of it you create!

The better you are at attracting the right people, the more the wrong ones won't be attracted to you. Besides - you can't avoid being contacted online by some people you don't want to date - that's par for the course. Your focus instead should be on being contacted by those you do want to date!

It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones.

Another common pitfall is sarcasm in the profile. You might be sarcastic, and that might be what people who know you love about you. But sarcasm doesn't translate well in an online profile, especially if you are a woman! Women might be more forgiving, but very few men will be instantly drawn to a woman who leads with sarcasm.

Write About Me In My Dating Site Profile Template

Your profile tells a story. It shouldn't be a novel (consider this a bonus tip!), but a short story that captures your personality. It might tell the story of an athletic, ambitious world traveler, or a geeky, sincere introvert. Or it could tell the story of a bitter, demanding perfectionist. Review your profile, photos and text together and ask yourself:

Who am I showing up as? What story am I telling of my life?

Write About Me In My Dating Site Profile

Your story is dictating who is attracted to you, so make sure you are grabbing the attention of the right people. If you aren't able to be objective about your profile, ask someone you trust to read it for you. Is it highlighting your best qualities? What are you saying between the lines? Is it what your ideal partner wants to hear?

Are you expressing what is both unique to you and what is attractive to who you want to date? If you can do that, you are winning! And you just might meet the perfect person for you online.

Since we're talking about writing a profile, I have to mention spelling and grammar. There is a lot of bad spelling and grammar out there. And there are a lot of online profiles that list spelling mistakes and bad grammar as a pet peeve. And some of those same people have spelling mistakes and bad grammar in their profiles!

Plenty of people will be forgiving of typos, but don't risk turning off someone just because you didn't use spellcheck.

The thoughtfulness and care you put into your profile will show and be appreciated by others. So make the effort to clean up your mistakes!

Francesca is a professional dating coach and matchmaker. You can catch her as a regular expert guest on NBC's The Today Show, and on The Hoda Kotb Show on SIriusXM. Get more free dating advice, including a guide to your perfect online photos at www.francescahogi.com!